The Journey to Pattern of Mind

When I look at Pattern of Mind today, it almost feels as if everything had to happen exactly this way. As if it had been a clear path, step by step leading to this idea. But in truth, it began somewhere entirely different.
Not with a vision, but with a feeling I could not make sense of for a long time.

There was a phase in my youth where everything felt heavy. From the outside, my life looked quite normal. I went to school, I functioned, I was part of everything that is considered normal.
But internally, there was a sense of tightness, a weight that ran through my thoughts. My thoughts kept moving in the same direction, and my feelings were often very intense. And there was this quiet, almost unquestioned sense that this is just the way it is.
That maybe it cannot be any different. At the time, I never questioned how I was thinking. For me, this was simply reality. This, I believed, was just who I was.

At some point, my brother gave me a book about NLP, Neuro-Linguistic Programming. I still remember holding it in my hands and immediately sensing that there was something to it. It sounded logical, almost obvious. And yet, there was a distance. The question that came up was not whether it was true, but whether I would ever be able to apply it in my own life. I started reading. I went through the first pages, put it aside, picked it up again later. But I never really got into it. It felt like I was trying to understand something without being able to access it. Eventually, I stopped reading.

The first real shift came shortly after. During my psychology studies, I encountered behaviorism and Martin Seligman. A central part of this was attribution theory. It describes how we explain the causes of events in our lives. I found it so fascinating that I bought a book about it. At the time, I had no idea how fundamental this theory would become for me. But while reading, I experienced something new. I was not just learning something, I was recognizing myself. I began to understand that it is not simply what happens that shapes our experience, but how we interpret it. Our attributions can create both openness and restriction. For me, it was mostly restriction. Suddenly, things that had been vague became visible. I realized that I tended to take things personally, to see them as permanent, and to give them a meaning far beyond the moment. It was as if a pattern was revealing itself for the first time. Martin Seligman describes that both helplessness and optimism can be learned. And with that realization came a thought that felt unfamiliar, almost unsettling. Maybe this is not just the way it is.
Maybe I simply learned it at some point. I realized that I had learned helplessness, and that in the same way, I could learn optimism. I understood that I could change the way I think. This insight did not change everything immediately, but it opened something. It felt like a small crack had appeared, through which a new possibility became visible.

Many years later, I came across NLP again. This time, it did not stop at reading. I decided to attend a seminar. Looking back, it was one of the moments that truly changed my life. Not because everything suddenly became easy, but because my perception fundamentally shifted. Things that had felt like absolute truths for years suddenly became flexible. Thoughts I had never questioned lost their certainty. During that seminar, I picked up the NLP book again and read it to the end. This time, it was different. I was no longer trying to understand it. I could suddenly relate to what it described. It no longer felt like theory, but like a reflection of what I was experiencing. At the same time, the process was not only easy. There were moments of confusion, uncertainty, and inner upheaval. And within that, there was a completely new sense of freedom I had never known before. For the first time, I truly understood that I am not at the mercy of my thoughts, that feelings follow patterns, and that behavior can change. I realized that I have a choice. I decide how I think, how I feel, and how I act.

After the seminar, many things were different. Life felt lighter, clearer, more open. I had tools, a new understanding, and the experience that change is possible. But over time, everyday life returned. The protected space of the seminar was gone. The guidance was gone. And I was alone again with myself. I still knew what was possible. I knew the methods. But I hardly applied them. Not because I did not want to, but because I found it difficult to go through these processes on my own. I was missing structure, orientation, and most of all, a counterpart. Something that would guide me through the process. And at that point, I realized something I had never seen so clearly before. The real challenge is often not understanding, but implementation.

Several years passed. I attended more seminars, but implementation did not become easier. Then came a phase that was extremely stressful and at the same time opened up an incredible amount of space: my second parental leave. I spent a lot of time outside, walking, often without a specific destination. These walks had something of boredom and at the same time something meditative. Thoughts came and went. In one of those moments, a thought emerged that seemed almost insignificant at first, but in hindsight changed everything. What if I simply allowed myself to be supported? Not someday.
Not only in a seminar or coaching.
But exactly when I need it. In everyday life. What if I created an app that guides me through a coaching process?

And then came generative AI.
I experimented a lot and began to use it to structure my thoughts. I was surprised by how precisely these systems can express things, how they open new perspectives and adapt to my way of thinking and speaking. Often, I felt more clearly seen and understood than in some real conversations. And very quickly, I realized the potential.
Not as a replacement for human connection, but as something that is always available. Something that asks questions, reflects, structures, and makes thoughts tangible.

In that moment, everything suddenly connected. The experiences from my youth, the first books, the insights into my own patterns, the seminar, the challenges afterward, and those quiet walks. Everything formed a bigger picture. Everything made sense. Pattern of Mind emerged from exactly this connection. From the gap between knowledge and application, between insight and integration. It is my attempt to create a space where this becomes possible. A space where you can better understand yourself and actively shape what is happening within you. It is not about becoming someone else or reinventing yourself. It is about recognizing your patterns, becoming more aware of them, and gradually remembering that change is possible.